You don’t need more {advice, guidance, coaching, coping skills, tools, hacks} you need less of all that…

The question becomes one of trade offs. If you need a spreadsheet to track your wellbeing, somewhere along the way, something very unfortunate happened. You were taught to believe that you need more, always more, you are not enough. Unless you’re too much in some way, then you need more tools to help you act like you’re less, OMG, I can’t…

Trading one addiction or problem for 3 others that seem ‘less bad’ is BULLSHIT. Let’s say it together out loud, BULLSHIT! But if your house is on fire, and all you have is a wet sock, you’ll throw it and hope for the best, I get it. We all do the absolute best we can in any given moment.

Tipping Point

There comes a time when it’s painfully clear that these structures, plans, toolsets, and schemes aren’t solving the problem, they are part of the problem. Oh sure at first it felt better, cuz there was new hope. And hope in any form feels nice. But it was just another add-on on top of all the other add-ons and ‘Life Hacks’ that you’ve been stacking up for a very very long time. It’s not really a stack anymore, it’s bigger than that, and it’s damn heavy.

What Happened?

When a practice or skill or coping mechanism is first used, there is a hit of joy and hope from trying, again… the pride of ‘doing the work’, some more, again… and perhaps even recognition and accolades from others informing us about how well we’re doing, again.

But that feeling doesn’t last, and no amount of support, incantations, affirmations, prayers, or chants will make that a stable baseline. And at the end of the day, what we want is pretty simple, a stable baseline. Where low ain’t that bad, we can deal.

Now the rub is, the original ‘win’ with that feeling of hope and joy, will still require some headspace, attention, energy, and effort. It did, after all seem to help for a minute or a week or a month. If it’s not given enough attention, it will take some, and here come the narratives –

• ‘keep doing it or you’re an asshole’
• ‘don’t be a quitter’
• ‘can’t you stick to anything?’
• ‘I knew this wouldn’t last’

And the list goes on and on for many of us. How else can the average person entertain 50,000 thoughts a day?!? It literally doesn’t stop. It’s fair to say that this no longer provides feelings like hope or joy. In it’s place, failure, depression, self-loathing, disappointment, and if followed to it’s logical conclusion, well nothing good lives there.

The Really Really Bad News

This terrorist in your head sounds, looks, and feels, a lot like someone you know…from the mirror. So it’s not surprising that these narratives are believed, at least long enough to disagree with them.

Oopsie, you mean that in order to disagree with them I first had to believe them? Hmmm, well now. That begins to explain a lot doesn’t it?

IF that wasn’t bad enough, there can be all sorts of other symptoms around these things we carry around, some physical, some mental, none all that helpful most of the time. I say most of the time because even a broken clock is useful briefly twice a day, and it’s the same with these ‘friends’ we carry around. Given the right circumstance, they’ve got the solution, perfect fit. Trouble is that circumstance isn’t around much.

REDUCTION

NOT JUST A NICE GRAVY

Mindlooker processing provides the ability to see for yourself the truth about all this, and should you choose to, you can make some new decisions.

In the meantime, what you’ll experience is a non-judgmental, non-evaluative, non-directive, safe space within which you’re the only boss.

As practitioner in this space, I do not know something that you don’t. Or have some secret sauce that can’t be found anywhere else. Or provide a better track to run on. A winning new practice adopt. And please please please if you don’t take away anything else from here, this is the good news, you don’t need more of anything. You already have everything you need, but perhaps it’s been a little hard to see. Kinda like that salt shaker at your elbow as you are scanning far and wide everywhere on the dining table…

What you will experience is guided looking. We guide by asking questions, that will prompt you to have a look. As easy as looking at your socks to see what color they are.